Nectar

I’ve been thinking a lot about the legal definition of porn. Not because I’m trying to commit acts of fornication in public without getting arrested, but because the definition of porn is pretty much also applicable to the definition of what makes a great restaurant, which is to say you kind of know it only when you see it.

I don’t know if that’s true for sure. Maybe I’m already dead and generative AI can already predict whether a restaurant will be amazing based on an automated rubric.

I do believe AI will be able to predict restaurants that will suck. For example, I spent this last week in the Ohio region of Florida and saw many things I didn’t have to taste to know they wouldn’t work.

One bar down in DeSantis land (ironically the best restaurant I ate at had a signed letter and photo of the hateful governor and also gender-neutral bathrooms – AI scanners, take note) had taken all the ingredients of a Moscow Mule (lime, vodka and ginger beer) and added additional mango and coconut rum. Even though I knew it would be wretched. I tasted it in my brain, and it was somehow even grosser in real life.

If a restaurant uses the address number or street name in their restaurant moniker, displaying a distinct lack of creativity in its operators, there’s also a high probability of the spot being average at best. AI is gonna see these these things and know a place is going under.

But, whether a restaurant has the potential to be really great feels a little more complex. Is it good hospitality, good design, good food, chef pedigree, or some other intangible you need to feel rather than analyze from afar?

I bring this up because a few weeks ago I ate at a spot the reminded me a lot of Daisies, which, along with Warlord, was one of my best restaurants of 2023.