A Real One

Chicago's Newest Tamaleria is Bangin' Out of the Gate

If you think I’m a tough critic, you should hear my son. His rating system is straight up Roman emperor. You’re either in the glory club or getting torn up by lions. Or as he might say, you’re either totally “mid” or “fire”, bro.

This might feel like a deflection of my personal duty to bring up my child in the context of a food review. It might seem like one of those indulgent parent things.

Oh, look, how cute! the food critic’s child is pretending to be a food critic.

Let’s do a reel to show what precocious skills our well-parented and smartly-influenced kid has!

Nope.  It’s more like, he doesn’t know who the chefs are, where they’ve been, where they studied, or how they Instagram. He doesn’t know what sous vide or a sous chef is. His only agenda is: does it taste good?

And that’s all it really should come down to. But it often doesn’t. There’s a formula to making it that doesn’t involve the quality of the food. Do you want to be a Food & Wine best new chef or a James Beard award winner?  Go work for other chefs who won those awards. Food & Wine collects the recommendations of those who won the award before to determine new winners. James Beard finalist voters include folks who have won the award in the past. Everyone votes for their own in some capacity.

Do you want to be covered in Time Out Chicago or on their social media feeds? I can point you to a certain someone in PR who can help.

Do you want to be favored by Chicago magazine? Cook for one of their “secret suppers” or their “best restaurant” galas.

Do you want to be covered by everyone breathlessly?  Be rich. Be white. Stage at a couple spots with famous people. Become a content creator and tell great stories. Whether you can execute or not, if the pictures and the words are good enough, you’ll be guaranteed business.