Bang, Bang

A new River North hot spot brings all the feels

Harvey Wallbanger is the perfect porn name. And as far as I can tell, no one has ever availed themselves of it in the industry. I love how I write “industry” as though I somehow have a casual but deep knowledge of the filmic sex trade- I do not.

To be fair, I didn’t try to verify this very hard. I value my Macbook Pro and its virus-free operation very much, so I just did a few simple Google searches.

I suppose this fact checks out though, because in these hairless Netflix and chill times where the new gen doesn’t start dating until at least 27, channeling the 1970s, an era of pelts and medallions would be surefire career impotence.