Food Critic vs. Influencer, A Review of Chicago’s “Best Thai Restaurant”

If a restaurant opens in Chicago, and all the influencers don’t pimp it in the first week, did it even happen, bro?

Now that NBC’s “Food Guy” is now Levy’s “Corporate Catering Guy”, Time Out Chicago is no longer reviewing restaurants, and the Chicago Tribune gives almost every restaurant three stars or higher, the answer is, “Yeah, probably.”

Given that, and because I’m a critic who tries to avoid influence, pay for play, publicist spin, etc. in a search for semi-objectivity around restaurant performance…it might surprise you to find out that I feel for PR folks, restaurant owners, and anyone trying to operate in today’s media climate.

If local food journalism has gone the way of the bullet-riddled corpse of John Dillinger, who tells your story?

You can do it yourself if you’re an established restaurant group with a big social media following.

If you’re new, you’re left trading free meals and or dollars for coverage, aka, courting influence.

The good news is as long as universities keep graduating marketing majors who know how to use a cell phone into a Trumpmultuous job market, a fresh crop of would-be hypebeasts is born each summer and ready to carry your water.

But, what does that mean?

We’re getting to the point where many consumers recognize there’s a pay for play or a quid pro quo element to social media, that what you see on a reel is a somewhat fabulous simulacrum of reality. But once you look through that oversaturated veneer of the Clarendon-filtered universe, what are you really getting?

As I contemplated this, I was wall-to-wall carpet bombed on all my socials about a new upscale Thai restaurant in Chicago. It seemed like the perfect test subject to draw some conclusions.

I visited the spot the way I usually do, anonymously and paying my own way. After my visit, I scoured the new restaurant’s Instagram and TikTok and pulled out claims from twelve influencer “reviews” co-branded on their feeds* and put them to the test against my own experience and knowledge.

Here’s what I found…

Oh, yeah, you probably want to know the name of the restaurant: Siam Thai Eatery in Chicago’s South Loop.

The good news is none of the influencers called Siam an unparalleled experience. That would have been a lie since it’s the third location of Siam Thai (the other two are in New York).

A few social media influencers did say Siam was the best Thai restaurant in New York. I reached out to New York food loving friends and journalists who know about these things. None of them had Siam Thai’s New York locations in their top 5.

Most of my sources lamented the late Uncle Boons while others threw in stalwart SriPriPhai, Thai Diner, and Kru. But you know what they say? If you can’t make it in Manhattan, try Chicago.

Influencer Claim #1 “Chicago’s prettiest Thai restaurant…”

Most of Chicago’s Thai spots are strip mall concerns with decaying bamboo plants and industrial tile. Winning this title is pretty much as easy as being the only Marloboro-smoking dude in a sea of non-smokers in a Carmy Berzatto lookalike contest.

Sporting a sea of black lacquer and rattan, fields of hanging ferns, and wall of cozy bungalow arch banquettes, Siam Thai is in the running for bringing sexy back in the Thai restaurant décor world of Chicago. The only other real contender might be Madame Puffs (sadly despite the name, not a combo noodle and weed dispensary) with its Versailles-like wall of mirrors. This influencer claim checks out.

IC #2: “The aesthetic, service, and presentation were all perfection.”

Can you blame a restaurant for being a magnet for iPhone gimbals and mini-ring lights while you dig into your massaman curry?

No, but for those of us who have learned to shut off the phone flash while taking tableside photos of our food, it does kind of kill the aesthetic and experience to be bombarded by what feels like ABC7’s studio team live broadcasting from the next table.

Siam Thai hasn’t gotten its liquor license so I BYOB’ed some Keller Riesling, its pineapple and tropical sweet notes the perfect foil for Siam’s sweet and spicy dish assortment. Our server struggled with the cork, but instead of breaking it in front of us, she opted to walk away and find a colleague who could help her wrench it free in some private area. When the bottle returned, it and the liquid within was cork-free.

Once we ordered, food arrived McDonald’s app/curbside pickup-fast, almost too quickly as we’d barely gotten through our pomelo salad appetizer before everything else hit.

Presentation-wise, Siam ain’t Esme or Oriole or Smyth. Most everything here is served in attractive clay/pottery-style dishware or with handsome wood trivets. Siam’s kitchen goes full tomahawk bone on its short rib. But its signature pork and shrimp wontons, aka “Moneybag Dumplings” appear to be fried ball sacks. With a dash of plum sauce, their shattery golden crusts and moist innards taste a lot better than they look.

We don’t have perfection here, but we do have creative competence.

IC #3: “Authentic”

Almost every one of these claims was made by a white girl, so, I’m not gonna go there.

IC#4 and 5: “…A menu that’s next level”

“… brings a next-level dining experience you don’t want to miss.”

What I look for in my Thai restaurants is not a PF Chang’s-like monolithic celebration of a culture. I love Thai spots that highlight individual regions like Isan or Chiang Mai. Siam does make some nods to American palates with fried calamari and a crab puff which is suspiciously Rangoon-esque.

But Siam also offers larbs, pork jowl, and one of my favorite northern noodle dishes khao soi. There are enough regional specialties, that while not “next level”, Siam Thai’s offering is conspicuously above average. You’ve heard me rave about it many times, but my “next level” Thai spot in America is still Philadelphia’s Kalaya with its unstinting devotion to spice and floral-like presentations.

IC #6, 7, & 8:

“The food was ten out of ten…”

“Powiem Wam, ze jedzenie byto ZNAKOMITE 100/10” - Translation: “Let me tell you, the food was EXCELLENT”

“Every bite worth the hype!”

Not even close.

Siam’s khao soi, has a bright rich curry broth, but the crispy noodle topper is stale, likely pre-fried and stored in an uncapped container for hours before it arrived at our table.

Some of the pork jowl is dry, not quite as smoky or caramelized as my favorite version from Night+Market Song in Los Angeles. It needs a healthy dousing of the accompanying chili lime sauce.

That bone-in-short rib massaman curry which looks like a MAGA-bro threat of some kind has a rich velvety texture with amply soft potato nuggets buried within, but there’s no crispy counterpoint in the form of toasted peanuts

There is one dish which is perfect, a fiery pomelo and crab salad rife with coconut and cashew. It is a Simone Biles-level beam routine of sweet, spicy, and tangy balance. This might be one of the best Thai dishes in all of Chicago.

I love the enthusiasm of the Polish influencer, but while it’s true some of the dishes were ZNAKOMITE!, if I were forced to rate everything out of 10 (as all influencers seem to), Siam Thai gets a 6/10 from me. You might even talk me into a 7 with a different selection of dishes.

IC #9: “Best Thai restaurant in Chicago.”

Nope. Right now, that’s probably Ghin Khao Eat Rice

IC #10: “Their main courses were insane!”

Nothing ate like a tweet or a lyric from Kanye, so, nerp. Although that Pomelo salad starter had me borderline mental for it.

IC #11: “It’s a flavor journey you didn’t know you needed.”

Maybe, if you were born in West Naperville and haven’t crossed over the east side of Route 59 in your lifetime.

IC #12: “Heard coconut ice cream is amazing but haven’t tried it yet.”

I didn’t try it either since I didn’t see this post until after my visit, but this claim is particularly hilarious because it was given as one of this influencer’s top recommendations about Siam Thai.

If this person really wanted clicks, they should have claimed that eating the money bag dumplings will bring instant sexual prowess or wealth. At least give me some Eat, Pray, Love shit like “The soup was “Tom-YUMMY”.

IC #13: “This famous New York restaurant is about to put all the Thai restaurants in Chicago out of business…”

The only thing putting Thai restaurants out of business in Chicago is the high level of competition, Mayor Brandon Johnson’s increasing tax and fee burden on small businesses, and his administration’s lack of responsiveness to permitting requests.

The South Loop with its lack of parking and personality has generally been where restaurants go to die, so if anything, Siam itself could get killed because it’s tucked away in a place where most Chicagoan’s are tailgating and not Thai-ing one on.

That would be a shame. While Siam Thai does not live up to the influencer hype, it is an above average Thai restaurant with creative presentation and a decent level of consistency. While it’s not a destination like TAC Quick, Ghin Khao, In-On Thai, or Aroy, I would send anyone going to a show at the Auditorium Theatre or a convention at McCormick over for a bite.

Siam Thai is located at 1329 S. Michigan Avenue in Chicago